Living in and out of reality as I chase my dreams sky high.

Sunday, 29 December 2013

Song of the week!

Noah and the Whale- 5 years Time

Have a listen to this song, its one of my favorites! It always puts me in a good mood, and makes me smile. There is something about the tune, and the lyrics. I love the line "Where ever you'll go there'll be love love love". Ahhh..its the perfect song to listen to all day any day! Strangely this song takes me back to old memories, and old conversations about the future. Its such a simple song, and I guess that's why I love it so much!

Thursday, 26 December 2013

A quiet walk home...

You really start to appreciate things once you no longer have it. The single place I miss the most in Singapore is this very place. I use to ride my bike from this path every day, twice a day to get to the MRT Station (train station). I always loved the cool breeze on my face, and the magnificent scenery around me. I almost took its beauty for granted now that I think of it. 

Living in a big city sometimes you lose track of yourself in your schedule, and more than often the crowds cave into your mind. Its hard to give yourself a moment in a day, a piece of sanity. This journey to the station to go to school, and then from the station back home would give me fifteen minuted everyday to just think the day through. I would get the chance to listen to myself; find my inner voice, which was suppressed both at home, and at school. Every time I felt uneasy, had a fight with someone, or felt upset; I would walk along the bay. It made me feel so much better, gave me a chance to reflect. When I lost my grandfather, I remember how painful that bike ride was. I remember sitting in an isolated area by the bay crying. I remember this same walk way to the Stadium to see the Iifa awards. I remember the excitement I felt to go see Shahrukh Khan, only then to return home with a disappointment of him not coming to the show.

As I walked by the bay, and over the bridge. I recollect what this simple routinely journey meant to me...what it gave me! I walk down the road smiling blissfully, walking calmly, and just reminiscing in now, this very moment. I continue listening to my music player which is now playing Eddie Vedder as I walk home...

[I didn't take many photos of the walk along the bay, just when I got to the bridge part.]

[This is the little bar area, which also has some really famous restaurants with divine food! They have the best chilli crab here! TRUST ME I KNOW ;)]

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Sunday Morning Brunch

There is something very intoxicating about the lifestyle we live in Singapore. The brunches, dinners, and the clubbing. It sounds so materialistic and fake, but in all honesty it isn't. Sometimes it can get pretentious, but for the most part when you have great company it is a life of bliss, and excitement. I think one of my favorite things to do was go for Brunch with my friends at this place called Wild Honey.

 According to me Wild Honey has the best brunch menu in all of Singapore. It is on the pricey side, but once in awhile it is nice to treat yourself to a nice meal. I remember coming here and never knowing what to get, because everything sounds delicious. I feel like I would have to come every day of the month to try every single dish on their Brunch Menu! But like always after a ton of contemplating I finally choose my dish, and I have not yet been disappointed!

I ordered freshly squeezed orange juice and the Norwegian brunch.  

My Norwegian dish which was smoked salmon wrapped around poached eggs placed on avocado covered toast. (It was some fancy word for bread which I already forgot the name...just shows how posh I am!)

The food my friends ordered! Although I have no regrets with my dish, but the more and more I look at the french toast I want it in my tummy!

Also my friends's really yummy Scandinavian brunch. Was my first choice but like usual all the contemplating and stuff made me chose the Norwegian.

Me and my favorite Indonesians! 

It was kind of mandatory to take a photo in the end...
I love these two people a lot! It doesn't matter how long ago I saw them, the minute we meet, everything automatically snaps back to the last time we met.. All the days in between vanish of to as if we met yesterday. I realized that over time people change, but their friendships stay the same. I feel like there is something very pure about old friendships, no matter how much you changer over the years your friends and the memories you hold with them bounce back a little bit of your old self and who you use to be. I feel very comfortable in their companionship, even when I have no clue what they are blabbing about in Bahasa (Indonesian language). I feel very blessed to have met them way back in middle school when we were all awkward tweens, and I hope I continue to have their presence in the future for future brunches, toast box snacks, and KFC dinners. Love you both! <3

Thursday, 19 December 2013

Start the day with kindness!

Watch this video first and then read what I have to say!

 Hanging out with the Homeless- TrueStoryASA

I often question how is it that I can make a difference in this world? Even if its the smallest difference I want to make it. I forget that kindness is the best thing you can offer anybody; it is the one gift that breaks all barriers, and brings a ray of sunshine on the darkest of days. I forget that a simple smile has the power to change an entire day around, and it requires the least effort!  I forget that time is the best gift you can give someone because time is precious and limited. I love this video so much because you can see how important Sheikh and Adam made these homeless people feel. To see these homeless people smile, dance, rejoice and enjoy themselves to such an extent is so wonderful. It brings a smile on my face to see their faces lit up, and makes me realize just how easy it is to make a difference in someone's life, even if it means for one moment, because no matter what they will always remember that moment. These boys really know how to make someone feel special, and they inspire kindness in others! Great job TrueStoryASA!

GOODBYE Winter Jacket and HELLO tank tops!

After what seemed to be a never ending plane journey I finally reached my destination. Nothing could ruin my arrival to Singapore! Not the long flight delays, nor the delay of my baggage. Nothing could ruin the fact that I was home. The airport was beautifully lit up and decorated with a Christmas theme, and how could it not be. After all it had to maintain its number one position among the best airports in the world. As I stepped out of the airport, a gush of warm wind hit my face. I could feel the humidity, and the thick wetness in the air. It was the thing I complained about the most, to which now I was so happy to greet. I immediately took off my coat. It was time to say goodbye winter jacket and hello tank tops.

 I stepped into the taxi, and was greeted by a jolly taxi driver. All through out the ride home I stared out my window, looking at the empty roads and the skyscrapers; reminiscing in old memories. In a matter of time I found myself on the front door steps of my parents apartment. I hesitated to ring the door bell. I stood there for a good 5 minutes wondering what it would be like to enter a home that I was now only a guest of? Thoughts ran through my head, and before I could ring the door bell my mother opened the door. She had heard the foot steps, and the elevator. She looked so tired, I could tell she was waiting for me, and had not slept. She hugged me tight, and smiled. I had missed the touch, the feel of care. I had missed my mother! Although four months had not seemed that long, it felt as if it had been ages. I walked in and stepped into my brothers room. I lied down beside him watching him, and gently kissing him on a forehead. A tea drop rolled down my right cheek. I had missed my angel, my smile, my laugh. The real reason to why anything is worth in life. I had missed my soul, my purpose. I lied down beside him falling fast asleep, without realizing; few hours later I found myself being woken up my Ayan. He was so happy, and he hugged me tight. I missed his warm hugs and kisses. His voice, his smell, his presence. He was the single thing that made every day a good one.

The rest of the day was a blur, it was spent time chatting with mummy, and playing with Ayan. It is scary to think its only a month till I return to Ithaca. But for now I am going to enjoy the warm weather, the sunny days, home cooked meals, friends and most importantly FAMILY!

Selfies with my baby!

Saturday, 14 December 2013

A mask...

Its that time of the week to doll up, and glam up. Its that time of the night to find a new face to wear, a confidence that will give you the chance to fly to the moon. But whats the point of such a temporary confidence that expires after a night? But I guess that's what a mask is for, to be someone you're not!

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

To that childhood of foolish romance...

Play the song as you read :)

Song :Goshen by Beirut

If you know me then you know that Beirut is one of my favorite bands! This song of theirs in particular is one of my favorites. This song reminds me about a childhood love affair, I feel like we all had one. A person that we loved a lot when we were young, but then life happened, roads separated, and that innocent love lost itself somewhere in the midst of us growing up. I don't know why but it reminds me of one person in particular who had impacted my life to a great extent, given me many fond memories, but then also gave me the bitter and ruthless heartbreak. It was the first of many to come. What hurt the most was to look at the person and realize that this person was nothing like what he use to be. He became so unrecognizable, carrying a different shadow as he walked into the room. Who he was, who we were was now just a childish memory; a past because, in the present we were now mere strangers. I feel like we all have that one person that we will never forget because that first love was an unforgettable childhood romance which was a compilation of pure and innocent feelings. All real, but ephemeral.

Welcoming Winter with open arms!

People will say all sorts of things about Winter. They will complain about the cold, the darkness and the gloominess. They will talk about the harsh winds, frost bites, and whatever else there is to complain about. Don't be fooled because, what they aren't telling you is how beautiful Winter really is. They forget to tell you that when it snows it looks like you are inside a snow globe, and it feels like magic. They forget to mention how beautiful it looks when all the roads are covered in snow. They forget to tell you how marvelous the bare trees look when they are coated with snow. Take it from me, the harsh wind, biting cold, and hassle of layering is all worth it in the end. The snow creates a Winter Wonderland that is so breathtaking, actually even sort of enchanting. All this time I was so scared, so fearful about Winter. I had heard so many horror stories, but how can something so beautiful be feared? Literature doesn't do enough justice to its beauty, rather they use Winter greatly as a symbolism of darkness. Yes Winter is harsh, it is cold, and dark but I feel as if it is the season to look within. To reflect internally, to cleanse oneself so when Spring comes we are ready for a new beginning. I feel as if we fear reflection, and maybe that is why we are so anxious about Winter. I feel as if Winter is a period to take a break from life, to let go, and battle with oneself's demons so when Spring melts away all the snow, we can give birth to a new, improved versions of ourselves.

So as it snows for the fourth time this week I walk outside, and open my arms towards the sky embracing the snow, welcoming Winter with open arms.

I don't know what I was doing here...

My friend and I walked into the woods, and dam the woods looks enchanting with the snow. 

Out of the woods and back to the dorm area...

I made a snow angel :)

There was a massive snow ball fight between my friends and I, a failed attempt at making a snowman. Oh but hopefully Friday should be good because I can finally go sledding down the big hill!

Winter is here and that too in full blast! As I write this blog it continues to snow outside. I was afraid this whole time, I was afraid to give something different a chance. BUT NO MORE! I am ready to give this new season a chance, ready to experience everything that this season has to offer. A toast to Winter, and all its wonders.

 I take a few sips from my hot coco, as I continue to watch the snowfall...
There is something quite ravishing about it...

Sunday, 8 December 2013

How do you justify killing an innocent for peace?

So in my Seminar Class we were talking about violence and whether or not it is justified? I wanted to share the essay I wrote about my opinions on it, The essay is mainly centered around the Algerians war of Independence movie. 

As children we are taught violence is not a good thing, if someone hits you, then you report it to the teacher. It is odd to think that what we teach children in society is opposite of the culture we live in. Hollywood romanticizes with superheroes, and let’s be honest. Batman uses violence to save the day, so does superman, and the next superhero. You must fight evil with violence, and force that is the only way. However, what these movies don’t show you is how innocent people become the victims of this violence. So where is the justice in that?

Just because violence is the easy way, doesn’t mean it’s the only way or for the matter of fact the right way. Taking for example in the movie itself, when the police start getting attacked the blame of these attacks falls on the innocent beggar on the side of the street. This is all because he is Arab, looks filthy, and people are suspicious that he is the one killing the police officers. An innocent becomes the victim of the acts of violence. He takes the blame for crimes he hadn’t even committed. A poor man sitting on the side of the street eating his bread is to give answers for crimes he didn’t commit. What kind of justice are the Algerians getting then? By killing the police officers, they had to sacrifice a poor man too.

“When you fight fire with fire you get a bigger fire”. After the many attacks of the innocent people, the French plant bombs in the Muslim neighborhood. This killed many children, men and women. This murdered, massacred, and brought destruction to a whole lot of innocent people. So then where does that leave us? Revenge? So then they retaliate by planting a bomb in a French cafĂ©. It goes back and forth until one gives up! If that is a victory, then explain to me what kind of a victory it is? How can anyone be a victor over the deaths of millions of innocent people? How can anyone win anything when innocent lives were put at stake? What kind of independence is that? If then the triumph over oppression can only be achieved by throwing stones at the oppressors then shouldn’t all violence against oppressors be validated?

So then if violence is okay, and is the way to fight back then why are we so affected by 9/11? Was that not an act of violence against oppression? If we can justify the violence for independence then we sure can justify 9/11. However, we don’t! Just as it should be! Innocent people died in 9/11, and the aftermath of that was more and more death. Al Qaida a terrorist organization is doing the same thing in Afghanistan and Pakistan as what the FLN were doing in Algeria. They are trying to fight the west off, in efforts to get back their land. So then how can we label one as right, and one as wrong? (Obviously I am no fan of Al Qaida!) The US is also fighting back ‘terror’ by various tactics; the most recently brought to attention is their drone wars. That is a whole new factor also creating deaths of thousands of innocent people. Retaliation over retaliation, how many lives will be sacrificed till that war is won?

If violence is to be glorified then it should be glorified at all ends. If violence is to be justified then it should be justified at all ends. If violence is what we live by, then why put a fake pretense, why teach our children anything else when they are young. A society that lives by such high morals would do well someday if they actually put these morals into practice and if violence had solved anything in the past then why are we still fighting? Who are we still fighting? How much longer will we still be fighting? If the death of one innocent life is not enough to justify why violence is bad then nothing else can or will.

But then if not violence then what? How do you fight back? How does one stop the injustice happening to him/her? To one’s people. Where does one begin? It sounds impossible that there is any other way. Gandhi said to turn the other check. However, how many times are you willing to get slapped? How much longer are you willing to give power to the oppressor? The oppressor will never get tired of being in power; in fact it will reap all its benefits for however long it can. So then how else do you fight back? How do you stop the oppression?

If there was a definite answer to that then the world would be a better place, the world would be a more just and fair place. If I had the answer then my disapproval against violence would be more valid. However, I still believe that there is a much better way without the use of violence. The Indian Independence was largely won on the basis of peaceful means. It was by showing the oppressors they can no longer oppress you, the country stared producing salt, and cotton on its own. They became independent of the British, by trying to sustain themselves. Yes there had been many violent attacks, but those attacks did not further independence for India. Violence might be feared, but only temporarily. It keeps going back and forth until one side gives up. However, by being peaceful and declaring by your freedom by mouth and through actions is much more fearsome. It shows the oppressor that they have to authority over you. There is something pure about that, a purity that threatens the livelihood of evil. Maybe it is more of an idealistic thought, but at least idealism is looking for hope for better means, and not confirming to reality. You can’t bring about change if you don’t believe in it. In fact at the end of the movie, people were marching for freedom. It was non-violent, people were professing their freedom, dancing, marching doing nothing violent. Yet they were still getting beaten up, and even then they kept going. This shows that violence is threatened by peace. In the end the French gave up not because of the violence, I believe it is because they lost control, authority, and discipline over the Algerians. I would like to believe that it was that realization that drove them out in the end, not the violence.

India vs Pakistan: What will violence fix?

First read this article!

If there isn't a picture, there has to be a statue of Mahatma Gandhi in every corner of India. A country that so proudly holds on to values of Non-Violence has not once put these values into action after the death of Gandhi. So then whats the point of having his face on the currency? What's the point of having his statues everywhere? Whats the point of teaching children in India about non-violence when all the country has been practicing since its Independence is violence! A country established on peaceful means has corrupted itself with blood since the start. If hatred, bitterness, violence; if war were to ever solve everything then why is it that we are still fighting Pakistan? What happened to loving your enemies? Praying for your enemies? Turning the other cheek? They kill two, we kill four, they kill eight, we kill 16, and then someone eventually gives up. But for how long? A period of time, but that anger will revoke another war. It keeps going on and on! There is no stop to this. India gave birth to beautiful souls like Gandhi, and Buddha. India has so much beauty in its culture, so much beauty in its people. Its a nation where many different people live together, rejoicing in one an other's happiness. So then why should this country let its Politicians corrupt its beauty? Why should a loving nation be painted with violence?

The Politicians will play their dirty games but its the innocent who will suffer! It is easy to declare war, but who will deal with the after effects? Why are we so easily willing to sacrifice lives, and that to for what?! A piece of land? Why should anyone have to suffer at all? If Uddhav Thackeray is so keen on war, and wiping out an entire nation, then why doesn't he do the dirty work?! Because he is a coward; a coward for resorting to violence, and a coward for watching others do his dirty work from the comfort of his four walls. If he really cared about India, and its people then why isn't he doing something about the corruption?! Why do we have so many hungry people? He is a selfish man, and his gains our clearly political. A real man, a real lover of his country would defend it from violence, and wouldn't subject his country to hatred. He is a man who has done nothing but created divides between people in his own country! Honestly he isn't even Indian! He will murder Indians in cold blood if he has to! Last time I checked all he cared about was Maharashtra. So then why all this sudden worry about India?

Saturday, 7 December 2013

Another Lonely Day by Ben Harper

This song is so beautiful! His voice is so pure, and healing. I sometimes listen to this song and reflect back to a time when I walked with a broken heart, most people listen to Taylor Swift in those conditions, but I chose Ben Harper. 

Opening my heart to December!

This time last year I was back in Singapore; worrying about school, college applications and about the future. Some where in the midst of that I was mourning for my loss, the loss I had suffered the previous year. The loss of my dear grand father. His one year death anniversary which was slowly approaching. At the same time I was trying to cherish the people in my life, trying to live in the moment and for the people living in this moment with me, I was trying to celebrate my father's birthday. I was stuck between two worlds and then all of a sudden the whole world fell apart as my father became unemployed. Life hadn't treated me well that December, and the month that I loved so much as a child turned into my worst nightmare. It was a month to reflect back on the year, and renew and cleanse. However, this time last year I had become bitter. All I wanted to know was that why was this happening to me?  What had I done wrong? Why was I being punished? I lost the sense of people. I lost the idea of family, and friendship. That December I had lost me. I started the next year with grudges, and a grim character. I look back to those early months of January, and those early days before my 18th birthday. I had thrown everything away that month! I had thrown away love, friendships, and my soul. I had given up on my writing, on my acting, and on myself. I distanced myself from the little things that made me happy, the people that I loved, and my dreams. I forgot how to smile, I forgot how to be kind, and somewhere I forgot how to cry. There were no emotions left in me, there was nothing worth to feel for. When life comes crashing down on you, the whole world skips a hundred steps and leaves you stuck in a ditch to climb out on your own. It wasn't until March that I realized that instead of climbing out of the ditch, I was falling further into it. Being bitter, being cold, being hopeless wasn't going to get me anywhere. The hardest times teach you what really matters, and who really matters. I fell in love, fell in love with life again. I opened my eyes to chances to miracles, and sooner then later all that anger melted. Spring came with fresh flowers, new opportunities, and a new agenda. It came with a fresh new start, a new home, a new me. I look back at the time and I remember that if it weren't for my mother's struggles, and sacrifices; If it weren't for my father's handwork, and will, I would have never been able to start fresh.

I realize now more than ever that God never puts you through something he doesn't believe you can't handle. I know now, that being strong doesn't mean being bitter. I was trying to hold myself together, but I was shattered. You can't hold shattered pieces together with missing pieces. No amount of glue is enough to fix what is broken, if one piece is still missing. I see now that we are all suffering, we all feel pain. But life doesn't stop, life has to go on. I understand now! Life is precious, every moment is priceless, and happiness is every where we just have to give open our hearts to it. Life can't be corrupted with bitterness, because we are supposed to enjoy its sweetness. We have all fallen of track; if we haven't we will at some point, and not once but countless times, but the beauty of life is that there are always second chances. One broken leg shouldn't keep you from walking, one broken heart shouldn't stop you from loving, and one broken dream shouldn't keep you from dreaming. So here I am sitting in my room drinking a sip of tea. Reflecting back on this time last year and the entire journey from there to here. I look and I see I have grown so much as a person, and I have achieved more than I could have ever imagines. So as I welcome December with open arms, as I open my heart to this month. I hope that I will learn to give this month a fresh new page. A chance to close my wounds, a chance to be something new. A chance to let me rejoice, and forget the pain, the suffering and the loss.

So here is to December!

Saturday, 30 November 2013

NYC: A day in my dreams!

Going to New York City was a fantasy that I dreamed of as a little girl. It was my one true love which I romanticized with for God knows how long. To be able to go to the city and live that dream; it was beyond breathtaking. I felt like a little girl living her Disney fairy tale. I was the princess, and Manhattan was my prince in waiting. There are not enough words! NO! There are no words to describe my first time in the city.  I thought I would be able to put my feelings into words, but the city did left me speechless. But I guess that's what happens at love at first sight, you are left speechless...

After a 1 hour and 45 minute bus journey we had finally arrived to the city! My journey started smack in the middle of Time Square as the bus station was just at the corner of it. Posing was an absolute must!

My friends left to go see the wax figures at Madame Tussaud. I had only one day in the city, so there was absolutely no way whatsoever I was going to spend it inside a wax museum. I had 12 hours in the city and I was going to spend it in and around the city! I was determined! I met up with a couple of my other friends from school and the journey around Manhattan continued.

So maybe its a little cheesy, and far fetched, but every writer must dream of writing for The New York times once in their life. The journalists of The New York Times are just as well knows as any Hollywood Celebrity. I mean it is the TIMES for crying out loud. 

Cake Boss is my favorite show on TLC well one of the favorites. I love the cakes he makes! I didn't get the chance to go inside but I got a photo! Maybe someday I'll get a chance to taste his amazing cakes, but till then this photo is quite a taste in its own.

Next we took the Subway for more adventure! 
The subway in its own is the lifeline of the city, its what keeps it going. Without the subway a city like NYC couldn't function.

I think something that adds to the culture of the city are the street performers. This one in particular was fantastic. There were plenty of people crowded around him. I knew exactly where all my change was going. 

We took the Subway to Wall street. I felt quite out of place with all the limousines, and men in suits.

The New York Stock Exchange!

Oh and so apparently it is good luck to touch the balls of the bull as it symbolizes luck and prosperity. OOPS I guess we might have done that! Also the line to get a picture with his face was way too long, so we settled for the balls. 

After experiencing the hustle and the bustle of the city we took a detour and went to Battery Park. People take the fairy to go see the Statue of Liberty. We just spent some time watching the waves, and relaxing. I got a chance to catch my breadth from all the excitement I was feeling. It was so beautiful, and so peaceful. I wish I could say it was quiet, but quieter than many of the places for sure.

 It wasn't a bad view of the statue I have to say!

At some point we had gone to Grand Central! When exactly I wasn't too sure but at some point...

Grand central to me is very iconic, I see it as Romeo and Juliet's meeting point in modern times. In several movies, in several shows we see that two lovers collide here for the first time. Maybe its more a fantasy than reality, but who knows it could happen someday to me.

So the pictures didn't come out great, they were quite blurry but even then. The photo below of me is taken at the same exact spot Serena from Gossip Girl stands in the first episode. It is the balcony, where she stands and Dan notices her. So maybe I went a little fan crazy with the whole Gossip Girl fa-sad. BUT only true fans understand the importance of this very spot.

 Next off to Rockefeller Center!

 We went to the Lego shop, which was honestly very exciting! But other than that we didn't do much here. Instead we went to Fifth Avenue and walked into all the really expensive shops. Obviously we didn't do any shopping. I took a few photos here, but nothing too exciting.

Next we went to Central Park, and it looks even more beautiful than it is pictured in the movies!

Next we went to Columbus Circle for lunch, and to take a short break from all that walking!

Next it was back through central park and a long walk to the Met Steps.

Every Gossip Girl fan knows that the steps of the Met are sacred! After all this is Blair Waldorf's throne from where she rules the city...okay so maybe not the city...

We went inside and the architecture was amazing! I wish I took more photos, but by this point I was tired and just wanted to look around at all the amazing art exhibits.

The day pretty much ended after this, we went back to Time Square and just did some shopping. It was almost symbolic, we returned to where we started our journey from. It was like we made a full circle.

Dreams don't last that long, eventually you have to wake up from them. Unlike Cinderella I had to leave once the clock stroke 8 and off I escaped in my pumpkin carriage. But in the rush to catch my bus I lost one of my earrings. I guess in a way its almost sort of poetic, I took something with me and left a part of me in the city.

The one that is left with me is to remind me every day that this wasn't just a dream. This earring is to remind me that this adventure was real, and that it happened. Now I just wonder who picked up the one I lost...

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