Living in and out of reality as I chase my dreams sky high.

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Birthdays and Turning 20!

The weird thing about Birthdays is that they come out of the blue, and are too short lived. Even though I try not to show it or pretend like they aren't a big deal, I love them. Maybe two people in this entire world know how much I love Birthdays, one of them would be my darling mother, and my best friend Lucia. My favourite parts are the balloons, and blowing off the candles. Except every year I forget whether you blow the candles first or wait till the song is over and then blow the candles. Also I can't take people seriously when they sing me happy birthday. I usually just smile, and try to hide my face, because I feel too small of a person. In that moment with all the attention on me I feel awkward, and I feel like in that given moment there are no set of instructions of how you're supposed to act. But nonetheless every year someone or the other will make sure that I live that moment! Like every year I did too this year thanks to my colleagues at my work place, and then later my friends in my apartment. I feel like there is no way to escape that moment. Though usually I countdown to my birthday, this year I counted down till it wasn't my birthday anymore. I promise you this was all done in a sober state of mind. So as the minutes went by and it was finally over, I realised that 19 taught me 2 important things;

1. Yesterday's mistakes cannot be tomorrow's regrets. Making mistakes is human nature, and honestly if there is one thing that I have learnt from the many mistakes I've made in these 19 years its that I am learning and growing as a person. Also that I can't go back in time and erase my mistakes, believe me I tried but till they don't build a time machine you're just going to have to live with your past, and not let it define your future. Also in the poetic sense if it weren't for your mistakes you wouldn't be here.

2. You're the only thing in your way. There is nothing stopping you from achieving your goals, but you. There is no excuse to why you can't do what you love, or what you want. Everything in this world is an excuse or an element of fear, maybe even a lack of confidence in yourself. As clique as it sounds you can do everything and anything you set your heart on. You just have to get yourself up, seize the moment, and keep trying till you are doing what you want.

Other than that 19 was a pretty solid year. I took some huge leaps, and did some things completely out of character, but I feel like I had to step out of my comfort zone, and go and be someone else so I could appreciate who I really am. Also like they say, sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself again. But maybe the most precious thing that 19 gave me  was some really great friends. I am so thankful to have met all these new people, and built new relationships! So here's a toast to the end of teenage years, and hopefully to leaving teenage drama behind, and here's a toast to welcome the 20's! Hopefully they will be as roaring as those teen years!


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